February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), and while the name says “teen,” the reality is that dating violence doesn’t magically disappear when you get to college. In fact, college can be the first time many people navigate serious relationships, independence, parties, stress, and social pressure—all of which can make unhealthy behaviors harder to spot.
This month is about recognizing the signs, starting conversations, and knowing how to help yourself or a friend. Awareness isn’t just about statistics—it’s about safety, respect, and looking out for each other.
What Is Dating Violence?
Dating violence can happen in any relationship, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or how long you’ve been together. It’s not just physical abuse. It can also include:
- Emotional or verbal abuse (insults, humiliation, constant criticism)
- Controlling behavior (telling you what to wear, who you can see, or where you can go)
- Digital abuse (monitoring your phone, demanding passwords, excessive texting)
- Sexual pressure or coercion (guilt, threats, or manipulation to get sex)
- Financial control (controlling money or making you dependent)
If something makes you feel scared, trapped, or constantly anxious in a relationship, it matters.
Warning Signs to Watch For 🚩
Sometimes the signs are obvious. Other times, they’re subtle and easy to excuse as “jealousy” or “care.” Pay attention if a partner:
- Gets angry when you spend time with friends or family
- Constantly checks your location or messages
- Pressures you to move faster than you’re comfortable with
- Blames you for their anger, jealousy, or behavior
- Makes jokes that put you down or embarrass you
- Threatens to hurt themselves if you leave
- Ignores boundaries or dismisses your feelings
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication, not fear or control.
How Dating Violence Shows Up in College
College life can make unhealthy behavior harder to spot. Warning signs may look like:
- A friend who suddenly withdraws from everyone
- Someone constantly making excuses for their partner’s behavior
- A partner who shows up uninvited or won’t give space
- Extreme jealousy around parties, social media, or classmates
- Fear of upsetting their partner
If your gut says something isn’t right, trust it.
How to Help a Friend 💙
If you’re worried about a friend:
- Start with care, not judgment – “I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately, and I care about you.”
- Listen more than you talk – Don’t rush to fix everything.
- Believe them – Even if the situation seems complicated.
- Avoid ultimatums – Leaving can be difficult and even dangerous.
- Share resources – Offer support without forcing decisions.
Your role isn’t to rescue—it’s to support.
If You’re Experiencing Dating Violence
First, know this: it’s not your fault.
You deserve a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and valued. If something feels off:
- Reach out to someone you trust
- Document concerning behavior if it feels safe to do so
- Learn your campus resources (Title IX office, counseling center, campus police)
- Create a safety plan if needed
Help is available, even if you’re not ready to take big steps.
Helpful Resources
- Love is Respect: loveisrespect.org | Call or text 866-331-9474
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (if you or someone you know is in immediate emotional distress): Call or text 988
- Your campus counseling center or Title IX office
Why Awareness Matters
Dating violence thrives in silence. Talking about it—sharing posts, checking in on friends, learning the signs—can make a real difference.
This National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, commit to:
- Believing survivors
- Respecting boundaries
- Speaking up when something feels wrong
- Looking out for each other
Healthy love should never hurt. And everyone deserves to feel safe—on campus and beyond.
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